Saturday, June 5, 2010

In Which I Now Have A Hobby That, Thankfully, Is Not Knitting


I make hardcover books w/my own hands!


I would like to take this opportunity to say that I have nothing against knitting, per say, in the strictest sense of the word. It is rather with 'purling' that I take issue. I could knit until the cows come home if knitting alone weren't so (insert expletive) boring. For example, if what you want is a simple rectangular scarf made of one single kind of fibrous material (no stripes!) , then I am your woman.
(Unless of course you're my incredibly awesome boyfriend that I promise to knit a scarf for with yarn that you pick out yourself--despite being the only guy in the whole knitting store--and despite my deep, abiding love for you, I never get the project off the ground because, as previously stated, I find knitting boring.)
But the fact remains. Technically (if not emotionally), I am capable of knitting square objects. But do not turn to me for whimsical feathery fringe on some deliciously asymmetrical flaming orange-red example of craftsmanship like the shawl you (I) saw at the yarn store. I cannot make this. I am too incompetent. Also, please refrain from asking me to perform operations like 'knit two together' or this mysterious 'drop stitch' that all the knitting books are talking about, both of which are like pointy sharp objects horrendously disfiguring the delicate antique lace project of my knitting.

If you would like to knit your own underwear and bathing suits, more power to you.
Meanwhile I will be hitting up the local Michael's for every last scrap of fine paper to use in making some seriously imperfect handmade books--think: messy crime scene--walking past aisle after aisle of Mary Engelbreit scrapbook hell to find the two pieces of paper that I actually like.

But I think I just saw you (myself) on the other side of the store, admiring the yarn. Maybe we are not so different after all.

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