Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Last Night, For A Change Of Perspective, I Pretended To Be A Cat


the inspiration for my lunacy

I chased a feather around on a stick. Thank you.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Once Again, I Find Myself Reading A Book About DESPAIR


desperate poultry

Dear Diary,

In other news, Steven and I at long last roasted our Thanksgiving turkey. Now there will finally be room in the freezer for leftover turkey a la king.

As for the book, it is awesome! (I am reading Miss Lonelyhearts by Nathaniel West, and, as I said, there is quite a bit of DESPAIR here on the part of the protagonist as he muddles his way through his job as the agony columnist for the local newspaper. And let me tell you, the letters he gets are plenty depressing. Plus there's Shrike, his jerk boss who spoils all his attempts to find redemption via religion, art etc. (So far I have only gotten to religion.) The description on the back of the novel promises something about 'death,' so maybe I will be 3 for 3. Ah. Death by one's own insanity.)

Turkey curry, turkey sandwiches, turkey soup.

In still even other news, a reporter at the news conference yesterday asked the women from US Geological Survey if it was significant that the (7.2) earthquake happened on Easter Sunday. The USGS woman said 'no.'

My cat is doing well. Thank you.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Fun Things To Do In Irvine On The Weekend: Part 1

(A New, If Occasional, Segment)

Wear high heels to the Farmer's Market and use as many plastic bags as possible.

Oh, and Jesus saves. Today! If you're into that stuff.

Plus one correction: apparently there is so little crime in Irvine that they do not have a city jail. Therefore, the next time the overly-assiduous bag sheriff catches me saving plastic, he can send me to do hard time in Santa Ana. That's where the airport is. The John Wayne Airport. There is a big statue of him there. I always wanted to have my picture taken with it, but there is no one but the car rental people to snap the shot and they're on the clock, as they say. Plus there is that colossal American flag. But seriously, folks. Stagecoach! Hatari! This is the stuff of my youth...

Of course, so is Jesus. And I don't believe everything they say about him anymore either.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Good Friday Myth: Busted!


keeping watch at the tomb


Dear Diary,

That reminds me.

Yesterday the sky did not get dark and cloudy around 3 pm, which everyone knows was the hour of our lord's death, on a very specific date and time somewhere, to the best of scholars' estimations, between 26 and 36 CE. And don't forget, that's also when the veil of the temple ripped in two. But it looks like all my catholic school teachers were just pulling the wool over my eyes to explain the inclement weather in terms of religious indoctrination. Sky gets dark and cloudy, my ass. (I wonder, is that comma before 'my ass' grammatically correct?) But anyway you look at it, that was a long time ago, Sister Mary Patrick Francis Brian. Maybe you should have busied yourself more with the teaching of proper usage of commas to 3rd graders than with macabre stories of crucifixion and the zombie-like raising of the dead of this Jesus character that we like to call 'resurrection.' Thank you.